Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Parking Like a Jerk-Face - What to do?

Driving a car can't always be a pleasurable experience.  I know, it's a shock to have to admit it but it's true.  Most of the time though, the things that take away from would-be great car moments are out of our control.  Construction, congestion and bad drivers ruin what would otherwise be an amazing afternoon cruise or pleasant commute to work.  There is also one other frustrating aspect of driving, parking lots.  And the only thing worse than not being able to find a space is discovering that someone else took two.   

Parking is one of the many necessary evils of using a vehicle.  Most people can't take their car into the office with them, so you gotta leave it somewhere when you're not using it.  Most of the time, the only problem with having to park somewhere is not being able to find a space.  This can cause a prominent build up of rage within the poor driver who has to constantly circle the lot looking for a free space so they can continue with their day.

This rage becomes compounded to critical levels when that already frustrated driver comes across a vehicle that has been carelessly strewn across two or more spaces.  This car is usually a German sports sedan such as a BMW (see below) or Audi.  Unfortunately, this results in stereotypes being established about the owners of such cars.  No longer are these vehicles seen as the chariots of individuals who appreciate well balanced handling, sleek styling and efficient power.  Instead they become cocks.  Inconsiderate jerks who are too self obsessed to even take notice that perhaps their actions are actually affecting others.  Then again, they may be fully aware and don't care... or even enjoy it.  Those are a special kind of scum.

Here are some things I found on the internet relating to the issue of bad parking.  They shed some light on how to deal with the offending party:  

1. Inform the Jerk-Face that they are being a Jerk-Face

Have you ever walked past a bad park job that filled you with an overpowering urge to chew out the person who committed the offending effort (or lack thereof)?  Since we all don't have the time or physical where-with-all to hang around for the purpose of an educational confrontation, will let you take the coward's way out.  Just print off the form and leave it under the perpetrator's windshield wiper parking ticket style.  You get to speak your mind and avoid a potentially life threatening situation.  Satisfying?  You bet!

Alternatively, you can visit  Pretty much the same idea as the previous site.  Bad parking theme?  Check!  Ass related URL?  Double check!  (One for each cheek)

2. Take pity on their lack of skills... or have a good laugh.

Of course, maybe these people that are parking like jerks aren't jerks at all.  Maybe they're just lacking in skills.  Deep down they want to be able to get their car between the lines, parallel park and judge the distance between their car and a neighboring vehicle.  They just don't have the capability to do it.

Case in point - here's a short compilation of bad parking.

If you loved that, here's a longer video with even more carnage and shame.  

3.  Completely lose your $#!@

And when all else fails, you can always do like this P.O.'d fellow did and torch the offending vehicle.  Props for this guy for doing what he believed to be the right thing.  After all, this jerk was parking on a children's playground!  Then again, he did light a car on fire in a children's playground.  I'd say this one evens out in the wash.

For those of you wondering, yes, this did take place in Russia.  And unless you've been living under a rock, Russia is well known for its automotive hijinks.  And if you have been making your abode beneath a geological formation, just punch Russian drivers into the search field on YouTube and I'm sure you'll find countless examples (I am assuming that since you are reading this blog, you will have access to the internet at your rock house... unless a friend printed this off for you).     

On that toasty note, I'll have my leave.  But before you go, if you know of any awesome bad parking examples that you've come across on the internet, feel free to post some links in the comment section or on the Official Automophiliac Facebook Page.  I look forward to seeing what you come up with!



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